


Smoke Filled Lungs

by Txny_Stxrk



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Gavin Reed, Android Hank Anderson, Angst, Connor Has Issues, Dad Hank is determined to fix them, Depression, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Human Upgraded Connor | RK900, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, gavin is a caring shit, gentle reed900, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15757089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Txny_Stxrk/pseuds/Txny_Stxrk
Summary: 'Smoke filled his chest and burned every spot it touched. It always did. From the moment he inhaled, be it a short hesitant puff from when he experienced the horrid taste from high school school or the long drag that he would commonly take whenever he stood outside the station in the morning, it always burned. Day turned to night, rain fell from the sky, cigarettes burned. It was a fact and he could never get used to how it felt.Perhaps that was the problem. He didn’t want to get used to it. He enjoyed the hot pain that would briefly engulf him. For moment inside him. There was peace. A painful peace where everything was okay whilst on fire at the same time.'Connor stands on the edge of a roof in the freezing cold as he considers ending it all - his family come to the rescue.





	Smoke Filled Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is highkey inspired by 'Blue' written by passive_and_aggressive and, though it can be read as a standalone, I recommend reading their fic either before or after reading this one.
> 
> (the link is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15522411/chapters/36031569)
> 
> I based the way the brothers act and their backstory on their fic so they get all of the credit there!

Smoke filled his chest and burned every spot it touched. It always did. From the moment he inhaled, be it a short hesitant puff from when he experienced both the horrid taste from high school school as well as peer pressure for the first time in his life, or the long drag that he would commonly take whenever he stood outside the station in the morning – or in the break room sometimes as little as ten minutes later, it always burned. Day turned to night, rain fell from the sky, cigarettes burned. It was a fact and he could never get used to how it felt.

 

Perhaps that was the problem. He didn’t want to get used to it. He enjoyed the hot pain that would briefly engulf him. For moment inside him. There was peace. A painful peace where everything was okay whilst on fire at the same time.

 

Then there was the exhales. On a good day, they’d be fairly smooth – perhaps a bit of coughing– but on a bad day, he’d choke of the burning smoke that was streaming out of his mouth. He’d splutter and wheeze, tears stinging at his eyes as he struggled to take a breath. His hands would desperately search for his inhaler and he’d take a deep breath of the medicine that soothed his breathing but not the burning. Never the burning.

 

He quit once. He started when he was seventeen and it was barely half a year before Nines found out, finding him experiencing an asthma attack with a cigarette in hand and producing the spare inhaler seemingly out of thin air. He’d sat with him and shouted, calling him stupid and telling him to quit, and then he’d hold him close as tears rolled down both their faces. They were all each other had after all. So he’d quit.

 

And then the accident happened and he’d picked it up again, along with a beyond terrible drinking problem.

 

Nines hadn’t looked at Connor the same way since.

 

Connor had become everything in the world his little brother despised, all he needed to do now was pick up a red ice addiction and he’d become the scum of the earth.

 

He’s always been a weak excuse for a big brother. Always smaller and sickly – making Nines look after him and make sure he was healthy. Terrible. Horrible. Nines hated him.

 

Why in the end had he ended up with the lieutenant position whilst Nines seemed trapped in his shadow?

 

How did he get away with showing up drunk or hungover but always late when his brother was early and worked himself to death everyday. Always trying to beat him at a game Connor wasn’t even trying to win anymore. A game Connor was secretly losing at.

 

He sat on the edge of the building, staring down at the empty road below him as snow gently cascaded down from the thick black clouds – creating a thin layer below and around him. His hair was peppered with snowflakes and he shivered despite the burning of his lungs. He flicked the finished butt off the edge of the roof and didn’t even watch it fall as his shaky hands busied themselves with lighting yet another. He was finishing his second pack just from that night – another lay in wait in his discarded jacket. If he didn’t chicken out, he would even get to open it.

 

He inhaled.

 

Choking on the smoke, he pulled the stick from his almost blue lips and lifted his flask to his mouth, reminding his that not only his lungs were on fire, but his stomach too. Only, the concoction of alcohol that resided in the flask (he couldn’t even _remember_  what he put in there anymore) didn’t cause an unpleasant feeling like the smoke did, but rather a warm appealing feeling low in his gut. The mouthful alone warmed his whole body somewhat before the harsh cold of the winter night faded back into his stiff bones yet again.

 

The alcohol soothes his body, but not his head. Never his head. He liked to pretend he drank it because it silenced the demons in his brain, but in reality it only enabled them. Yet, it was a habit he couldn’t break. He didn’t deserve to like himself for what he’d done. What he’d done to Cole. To his little brother. To that damned android he’d ditched somewhere that reminded him so much of everything he lost.

 

Family.

 

He didn’t deserve that. He deserved the voices screaming at him.

 

So he drank some more – not like it would do much more as he was already as drunk as he could get without blacking out. Nines didn’t deserve it that way – he deserved honesty.

 

His hands shook as he dialled the number that was ingrained in his brain and held the phone to his ear, his left hand pressing the cigarette back to his lips without even thinking. Second nature. The phone rang and rang in his hand, and he started to wonder if he’d even pick up. It was late and when was the last time Nines answered any of his calls anyway? When was the last time he called him?

 

He was coughing when there was an annoyed and exhausted voice on the other end of the phone, but Connor could already tell he hadn’t been asleep. Work. That was always the excuse. It had been for both of them until Connor snapped.

 

When would Nines snap? Maybe with him gone he’d have no reason to work himself into an early grave… no reason to beat anyone at this sick game of life. Connor hoped.

 

_“What the fuck is it, Anderson. This better be good, I was busy.”_

 

It wasn’t a question, it was a demand. It always was. Connor ignored the way his heart dropped to his stomach when he used his last name. _Their_  last name. But Connor had ruined that name hadn’t he?

 

He heard murmuring in the background, was that the android that Nines had been given? He would’ve felt surprised that he was staying with his brother as he hated the fucking machines if it wasn’t for the fact that he felt too tired to feel anything more than he already was.

 

“You’ve been a great brother to me, Nines.” Connor muttered honestly, kicking his feet childishly a little as he looked down at the snowy street. Once upon a time, he adored the snow, perhaps it would be fitting to have him dye it red. “Like… I’ve been an asshole… a real fucking asshole. And I know you hate me. I’m going to fix it all.”

 

The silence on the other end was deafening. He could hear muffled murmuring as well as shuffling, if he wasn’t so tired maybe he could focus on what was being said between man and android. Gavin or whatever…

 

Connor decided to fill the silence with more speaking. “You’ve always taken care of me… what have I rewarded you with? This. Turning into a fucking mess – being just like Mom. You always tried to protect me from her despite the fact that  _I_  was supposed to be protecting _you_! It’s not fucking fair! I-... I’m going to fix it. Stop you hating me, stop you needing to look after me like I’m a sickly kid all over again.”

 

Another long pause, but this time there was not shuffling or murmuring. For a moment, Connor thought he’d hung up – tired of his rambling and slurred speech – but then he heard a voice.

 

_“Connor… what are you saying? Where are you?”_

 

The last question sounded like Nines was trying his hardest to stay calm but was growing hectic. Like he was panicking but he didn’t want to worry Connor, like he’d trigger him somehow. He felt like a liability. He hated it.

 

He barely noticed his brother use his name for once.

 

“I’m saying I fucking love you!” He suddenly shouted, almost going to stand up but his head spinning far too much at the movement – causing his to fall back onto his ass again to avoid slipping off the roof. It was stupid – after all the point was to fall anyway – but he was too much of a coward still and had things to say. “And you don’t deserve to put up with me! I get in your way and you hate me so fucking much! So what the bloody point anymore?!”

 

Nines said something in his ear but he didn’t hear him, that being the moment the door that lead back down to the stairwell behind him – that he’s most definitely locked – burst open with controlled force and out came a familiar looking figure.

 

His grey hair was up in that messy ponytail that seemed ineffective for a Cyberlife android, along with his face that looked weathered from age despite the fact he couldn’t be more than a couple months old. He was a prototype for sure – it was like Chloe Kamski was purposely trying to make her androids more human.

 

The only thing that stopped Hank from looking like a normal guy off the street was his LED that was currently blaring solid red. Connor doesn’t think he’s seen it that colour before.

 

“Lieutenant Anderson!” He – when did Connor start calling the fucking machine a he?! – exclaimed as the man in question stood swiftly on his feet.

 

The multiple actions paired with his intoxicated state was almost enough to push him of the edge, but he managed to balance himself. Hank went to walk towards him, his intent obvious, but Connor raised the hand that had his phone in it towards Hank to halt him, as well as take a step back so his heels were partially off the edge. A warning.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare get any closer to me, you fucking piece of plastic, or else I’ll jump.” He panted, his heart racing in his chest. His cigarette slowly burned in his other hand, neglected for the time being along with his little brother was was still talking into the receiver of his own phone. “That’s an order, you hear me. Don’t fucking move.”

 

A flash of… something crossed over Hank’s expression that Connor didn’t completely catch – if he didn’t know any better he would’ve called it fear – before his face smoothed into his neutral blank look and he tucked his arms behind his back. Connor scoffed.

 

Another reminder that Hank was just another fucking machine. Just an HK800 model and nothing else – never anything else. He needed to accept that.

 

“Good.”

 

-

 

Before the phone had rang, Nines had finally been retreating back to his bed – 3:17am finally seeming like a suitable time to stop working and go the fuck to sleep. He’d considered leaving it to ring out, especially after seeing the caller ID, but then he’d given the clock a glance and listened to the low feeling of dread pooling in his gut. He picked it up and pressed the smartphone to his ear, ignoring the way he could feel Gavin’s bloody eyes of him from the hall.

 

The android barely left him alone – knowing that he’d probably just work himself into exhaustion if he didn’t make him sleep at some point.

 

He tried to sound annoyed over the phone to hide his tiredness, to hide how how felt about these late night calls where Connor would talk shit about himself and promise to change before passing out and forgetting what he said by morning. But Connor’s voice only concerned him further.

 

This wasn’t normal… This didn’t sound like he was sobbing in a bar or his living room. He could hear his big brother’s teeth clink together every so often and could hear a wind blowing around him. He was outside.

 

He covered the receiver with his hand before turning back to Gavin. The decision was instantaneous.

 

Connor was outside somewhere in a state. Connor was a danger to himself and others and he had to be found – it was up to Nines to find him and take him home. He wouldn’t remember the morning so it wouldn’t matter what he did, he could always blame Hank and say that he was the one that looked after him…

 

“Go grab my jacket and keys, we’re going out.”

 

Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed, an incredibly human gesture. “Detective Nines, I must inform you that-“

 

Nines swore if he heard one more word about him going to sleep out of that robots move it was going to have to be sent to Kamski’s for repairs. This was more important.

 

“Shut up and do what I asked!” He said, perhaps a bit more loudly then meant to. Perhaps more urgent too.

 

Gavin rolled his eyes, another oddly human trait programmed into him, but did as asked just as Connor’s voice came through the speaker once more. Nines pressed the phone against his cheek again and started to pace as he listened to Connor speak, running a hand through his messy hair.

 

He kept saying that he was _“going to fix it”_  but all it caused was a bubble of concern in Nines’s throat. Perhaps if he was more of an optimistic person he’d assume that Connor meant he wanted to straighten himself out – that he was going to stop drinking, quit smoking, and start actually living his life again. But he wasn’t, and the tone that his brother was using made it very unconvincing that that was what he intended to do.

 

Nines stilled, not quite sure what to do or say, untold he finally spoke into the phone again.

 

“Connor… what are you saying? Where are you?” His voice was more shaky then he’d ever admit, everything Connor saying simply setting off blaring red warning signals in his brain. He tried to sound calm, he really did, but he was terrified. No… this wasn’t happening. His brain was over exaggerating and Connor was just on his porch whilst drunk rambling again. He wasn’t anywhere dangerous and he wasn’t going to do something deadly.

 

He barely noticed Gavin behind him.

 

" _I’m saying I fucking love you!”_

 

Nines’ hands shook at the sudden announcement, looking back to Gavin briefly to see his lips moving but he couldn’t hear what he was saying. He thought of Cole. He thought of the roof.

 

This wasn’t happening. _This wasn’t happening_.

 

Connor was still talking.

 

" _And you don’t deserve to put up with me! I get in your way and you hate me so fucking much! So what the bloody point anymore?!”_

 

Connor thought he hated him… Connor thought that he hated him and that had driven him to do whatever he was about to because of him. Because he has left Connor to self destruct. Because he didn’t try hard enough to stop him drinking. Stop him smoking. Hell, he was barely there to pick up the pieces whenever Connor fell apart.

 

His brother cried for him during his time of need and Nines? All he’s done is ignore it.

 

“Connor… you’re scaring me…” He admitted, hoping that maybe the honesty would make him rethink whatever action he was considering taking, but it seemed to make no difference as there was a muffled bang through the phone.

 

A voice. A key.

 

HK800. Hank. Connor’s android partner.

 

Nines finally knew how to find his brother.

 

“Gavin. Track the HK800, he’s with Connor.”

 

“Nines-“

 

“ _Please_.”

 

Nines had never pleaded with an android before, but he was desperate and they were losing precious time. He needed to fix this, he needed to make it okay.

 

He heard his brother yell, voice far away and the wind loud in the speaker, but he felt as though the words were said as clear as day. He felt a shiver run through his whole body.

 

_“Don’t you fucking dare get any closer to me, you fucking piece of plastic, or else I’ll jump!”_

 

Any hope of Connor being anywhere safe was shattered by one simple statement. Connor was on the roof of a building. Connor was on the edge. Connor was drunk and he was talking about jumping.

 

Nines took deep breaths, not sure if he was trying to soothe his panic or worsen it, and felt a soft hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Gavin there, concern etched in his eyes. Such a human emotion…

 

“I’ve found them.”

 

Nines was swiftly pulling on his jacket and grabbing his keys that Gavin had handed him. He kept his phone in his hand, afraid if he hung up then Connor would take it as a rejection. As confirmation that he hated him.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

-

 

Gavin had drove his motorcycle, despite Nines constant usual reluctance to let him even get _near_  his baby, so the detective could continue to listen to Connor on the phone. It seemed like his big brother had completely forgotten about his phone, Nines wasn’t sure if he’d thrown it near him or if it was still in his hand, but if he had to guess he’d assume the latter. After all, he didn’t hear the thump of the device being discarded and the clarity of Connor voice kept varying.

 

After all, the Lieutenant’s hands always moved when he spoke when he was upset.

 

He’d been trying to climb off the bike before it had even came to a stop, spotting Connor as soon as they’d turned onto the street. It was a quiet road near the docks, the building was probably a long abandoned factory. Even if there was the occasional car there during the day, but at almost half three in the morning there wasn’t a single tire track on the freshly laid snow.

 

He could almost fool himself into pretending the place was… peaceful.

 

But then, when he did so much as glance upwards, he could see the familiar shadow of the only family he had left. Of the boy he used to cuddle close in his bed at night when their mother would come home from the bar, angry and drunk. Of the kid who once licked a pole in the freezing winter and stuck himself there because he’d been curious. The teenager who once almost burned the science lab down because he was a walking and talking safety hazard until he adjusted to his height. A man who became one of the most celebrated cops in the precinct, became the youngest Lieutenant in Detroit history, and caused his little brother to feel jealous of him for the first time in his life.

 

He saw his brother, his twin, his older sibling by nine weeks because he apparently just couldn’t wait to be born and Nines could. He saw Connor standing at the edge of the roof, heels practically completely off as he yelled at someone unseen. His back was to Nines, but he would know Connor anywhere.

 

The heard the motorcycle engine turn off from behind him just after Nines climbed off, Gavin soon appearing by his side. Connor almost slipped, unbalanced, and the man went from shocked silence to crying out above them – not bothering to use his phone this time.

 

“Connor!”

 

The figure stilled from above and shifted, presumably to glance down at him. Nines wished he could see his face – his expression – but from where he was he could see no more than a shadow that engulfed his brother. Though, Nines supposed a shadow had engulfed Connor from the moment that he’d failed that negotiation.

 

He seemed to look back towards the figure he’d just been ranting to and raised his phone back to his ear, seeming to have just remembered the device in his hands. His younger twin mirrored the action with his own.

 

“Connor-“ He tried but was swiftly interrupted, but that wasn’t surprising.

 

_“How the fuck did you find me?”_

 

His tone was bitter and sad, sounding almost… disappointed in himself for pulling Nines out here. There was no venom directed at him in the question, simply sadness. He kept his back to his brother.

 

“Your android has a tracking chip.” He explained gently, swallowing heavily when there was no immediate reply. He seemed tired, exhausted, he wasn’t fighting Nines. Maybe he could get him to step down. “Connor, I’m coming up-“

 

_“No!”_

 

The answer was instantaneous and the authority in the tone made Nines pause where he went to take a step. There was silence.

 

_“You will stay there, okay?... better yet, brother, you will go home.”_

 

A memory played behind the taller twin’s eyes, flashes of that night with Cole, of being on the ground as the child screamed and fell from the top floor. As the child landed right in front of Nines.

 

He couldn’t take that with anyone ever again. He couldn’t take it with another brother. He couldn’t take it was Connor.

 

He’d be the next to fall of the rooftop.

 

He wasn’t waiting here and he wasn’t going fucking home either. “Like hell I am.” He retorted back into the phone and hung up before Connor even got the opportunity to fight back. He took long fast steps towards the front door but stopped when he heard the familiar crunching of snow from behind him. He turned. Gavin.

 

He grit his teeth a little.

 

“You! Stay put!” He commanded before going to continue but hearing the other’s sound of complaint. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say he sounded concerned…

 

“Nines, I must warn you, your stress level has risen to 84% and is quickly rising-“

 

The detective cut him off. “That’s an order, machine. Stay. Do not follow me.” His voice wasn’t loud this time but it carried authority. Gavin sighed and, for a second, he thought the android was going to ignore him anyway, but he folded his arms behind his back and Nines took off through the door and up the nearest flight of stairs without another worst. His heart raced in desperate urgency.

 

He needed to save his brother. He needed to save Connor.

 

He wasn’t fast enough for Cole but maybe he could be fast enough now.

 

-

 

Ever since Hank lost Lieutenant Anderson at the bar – he swore he’d barely looked away and the intoxicated Lieutenant he’d been babysitting had vanished – there had been this unsettling feeling low in his hypothetical gut. It felt like something akin to guilt or worry in humans which… concerned him. They were not things he was programs to experience, only deviants had feelings like that and he wasn’t a deviant. It had to just be an ill timed bug in his system, he should go back to cyberlife and get it fixed immediately.

 

But-

 

But Lieutenant Anderson was in a position where he couldn’t discover the outcome. Every time he checked the probability of Lieutenant Anderson jumping, the percentages changed every time – his moods causing unknown variables along with his stress constantly fluctuating. He was drunk and that made his state of mind unknown.

 

He tried to speak with him, bringing up his brother in hope that he’d listen if it was about him, mentioning Cole and how it really wasn’t his fault, telling him he was drunk and wasn’t making sensible decisions right now. None of it worked. If anything, all topics worked him up more and caused Hank’s artificial breath to hitch as he watched with horror in his eyes at his partner flirt with the edge of that roof.

 

Shouldn’t he be glad? He’d be given another human partner, probably Detective Anderson, and everything would be far more efficient. He wouldn’t have to babysit him at bars any more-

 

**[errOr]**

 

-take care of him in the morning-

 

**[ErrOR*}**

 

-make sure he got to work on time-

 

**{ERr &#OR}**

 

-help him adopt more healthy eating habits-

 

**{ERR@ &#%OR^*}**

 

-or having to constantly scold him on smoking whilst inside the precinct despite the no smoking signs.

 

Why did he suddenly feel like there was no oxygen despite the fact he didn’t need to breathe? Why was his eyesight suddenly littered with little red warning signs? Blinking a steady crimson that he was sure his LED mirrored easily.

 

Why was he so uncomfortable with the idea of Lieutenant Anderson dying? With _Connor_  dying? Why did it make his biocomponents speed up? Why did it make him feel like deviants did? Like _humans_  did?

 

Why had he had those feelings for a while now?

 

“Please, Connor, listen to me-“ The fear was leaking into his voice now, eyes wide as he stared at the other, but he didn’t seem to register the desperation that had entered the androids tone. Not even the name change. He just dismissed him.

 

“Shut up! Just shut! Up! I don’t care!” He cried, pulling at his hair as tears rolled down his bright red cheeks – probably flushed from both the cold and the alcohol he’d drank prior. Hank wished he could at least convince the other to put his coat back on, but it was probably drenched by now anyway. “I don’t care anymore!”

 

Technically, Hank knew Connor could order him to leave and he’d have to comply but he hadn’t. He’d asked him to stay. So that part of him that hoped it wasn’t a drunken mistake clung to the fact that Connor did still care. He cared too much. He wanted Hank to stop him.

 

Then he’d heard a yell and his hope increased. Detective Anderson. Richard. Nines. Connor’s brother. He must’ve had the GV200 model track his location and found them, he’d surely talk Connor down.

 

He felt relieved. Why was he able to feel relief? This bug definitely had to be checked out after this was all over or else Fowler would not be pleased with his progress.

 

His heard the twin reject Connor’s instructions and make his way to and up the stairwell. Soon they’d get Connor to step down. Soon things could all go back to normal and Hank would help the kid with his hangover tomorrow and get him to work on time like they always did. Things would turn out fine.

 

Hank wanted to turn his head when he heard the door open from behind him, but he also couldn’t go against his orders, so instead he settled for listening to Detective Anderson’s voice as the man walked around him and into his eyeline.

 

“Connor… Connor, how about you step down from there and we talk, yeah?” The younger twin said in a voice Hank hoped the other would find soft and familiar, something Connor wasn’t comforted by in his own voice. He was mistaken.

 

The tears continued to pour from the Lieutenant’s eyes, holding the hand that did contain his smartphone - something that had been discarded between the time that Nines had been travelling up the stairs (had he not noticed when he’d dropped it??) - out to his brother as he spat at him much the same as he’d done at Hank.

 

“Don’t you fucking move, Nines.” He growled, sounding out of breath despite the fact he hadn’t moved in the last seven minutes that Hank had been there and at least fifteen minutes before when he’d lost him. The shivering also affected his voice, Hank scanned him for the 17th time since he’d been there and noted - again for the 17th time - he was unsafe levels of cold. Hank had already warmed his artificial skin somewhat in preparation of being allowed to move again, as well as still carrying around his spare inhaler just for emergencies like this so the other could catch his breath again. It was… unusual how prepared he was to jump into action. However, he had to always be prepared - that was one of the perks to the prototype - the strange feelings that occupied them were just bugs.

 

How long had he been experiencing these bugs for? He blinked to himself as he thought. They hadn’t just been tonight…

 

Connor’s voice pulled him violently back into the present as he spoke to his twin. “If you take one more step, I’ll jump. I swear.” And then he suddenly cried out again and he was pulling his hair. One side glance at Nines showed just how much he was struggling with Connor’s state. Hank found himself relating to him a shocking amount. “Why couldn’t you just fucking stay at home?! This would be so much easier…” He wept.

 

Nines took another step closer. “Con-”

 

“What did I tell you?!” Connor took a small step back. A gentle breeze could probably push him off the edge if it wanted to - his balance wasn’t stable enough. Hank’s LED that had gone down to yellow with red flashes had returned to the blaring red and his stress level rose significantly.

 

He still didn’t move.

 

“I’m just like mom, Nines!”

 

“Don’t say that, Connor, you’re not!”

 

The older twin tensed his jaw and tightened his fists. “Don’t lie to me. I see the way you look at me, the way you’ve looked at me ever since I let Cole die.” He looked off to the side. “You’re disgusted by me. You hate me.”

 

All Hank wanted to do was pull him into his arms and reassure the Lieutenant that he would be okay. To reassure _Connor_.

 

**{ERR &6OR@!1}**

 

The error signs popped up again. An interface with Fowler was offered - he denied. He couldn’t take his eyes away from the situation for a second. He needed to be there.

 

“You’ve been jealous the moment I became Lieutenant. Well good news, there will be an opening soon and you won’t have to work until you snap to close that gap between us.”

 

Next thing he knew, Connor was looking him dead in the eye, tears still making their way down to Connor’s chin. The snow continued to fall, he’d stayed so still that it had accumulated on his hair and shoulders - as if he were another inanimate object for the precipitation to land on rather being ~~alive~~ functional. There hadn’t been a lot of times he’d seen snow before. He liked it.

 

“You’ve been like a father to me, Hank-”

 

**//Software Instability ^//**

 

Hank’s LED became spotted with yellow as he processed the statement, their relationship status changing inside his head. It upgraded from friend to…

 

… to son.

 

“-I’ll miss you.”

 

**//SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^//**

**[{eRRo%R~#]}**

 

Connor fell backwards. Everything slowed down. Something flared inside of Hank as he tried to step forward but his coding prevented him from doing so. Fear. A red screen flared in front of him, a wall between him and Connor slowly falling behind it. A wall between him and his _son_. His hands desperately clawed at the wall to rip it apart, it vanishing into the string of 0s and 1s in the end of it all. Hank almost tripped over his feet when he realised he was free.

 

He was alive.

 

He had deviated.

 

He didn’t have a lot of time to consider it as he ran and dived at Connor - going to grab his hand.

 

His jaw hit the floor of the roof harshly and his hand grabbed nothing, Connor just out of reach. His ~~processor~~  heart stopped. No…

 

-

 

Nines had had hope that when he got onto the roof he could talk Connor out of it, but suddenly at the sight of his delicate brother - who he had to protect from their mother so often - willingly threatening to jump of a roof ledge suddenly made him go blank. He didn’t know what to say. He wondered if it was similar to how Connor felt when he saw Cole being held hostage by that android on the roof.

 

Whenever he tried to speak, his words were weak and poorly used, being interrupted by Connor’s louder and more emotional tone practically every time. He thought it would be more simple with him there, thought he could convince him to at least step down so they could talk, but he choked and instead made things worse.

 

When Connor declared that Nines hated him, he simply stood there,  frozen in his own thoughts as he tried to figure out what to say next. He should’ve immediately retorted that he loved him, that he cared about him, that he would never be their mother, but he hadn’t. He’d paused and his brother accepted his reply. His twin leaned backwards onto his heels and the whole scene twisted into slow motion.

 

Nines didn’t need to think twice to break into a sprint towards him. He was vaguely aware of the android moving towards his brother as well but he didn’t focus on it, he just outstretched his arms to grab Connor’s in his own – no matter the reluctance. He wasn’t going to let his brother die.

 

He thought of their mother. Of they way she used to leave them alone for hours on end and those hours without food would be preferable to the ones when she returned - stinking of alcohol and smokes. Of the bruises and scratches she’d leave on both of them, leaving them having to lie about their treatment by her. Of how Nines would try his best to take the brunt of the attacks in order to protect his twin as much as possible. Of the day Connor came home from school, grinning widely as he told their mother he wanted to be a police officer, and she’d given him a black eye.

 

He thought how, even now in death, she still had such a tight grip on both of them that she’d be able to pull them apart like this. That, having done nothing more than have existed as the bitch she was, Connor thought he was as bad as her.

 

He thought a surprising amount in those few seconds as he grabbed Connor’s hands, despite the fact his feet no longer had a solid grip on the roof. Despite the fact that, if he didn’t let Connor go, he’d pull them both over the edge.

 

The twins always used to do things together – from making dinner and eating together to as far as graduating from police academy. Nines wasn’t going to let his brother do this alone.

 

He felt his feet slip from the ledge.

 

Then there was suddenly hands gripping at his waist, halting both of the Anderson brother’s fall and causing Connor to slam into the brick wall fairly hard. There was a beat of silence.

 

Nines looked up and was greeted by a surprising face.

 

Gavin.

 

Hadn’t he been ordered to wait by his motorcycle?

 

The android growled and suddenly the other one, Hank he was called, grabbed Gavin too and the two of them helped pull both twins up and onto the roof – both left dazed and emotional but Connor also having been left with a gash on his forehead.

 

Gavin was quick to grab Connor by his shirt and was suddenly holding him up, dangerously close to the edge in Nines’s opinion. But the Detective, still reeling from the amount of events that took place in the last thirty seconds, did nothing to stop him.

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” The android roared at his brother, shaking him by where his fists were tightly gripping his shirt fabric. “You almost fucking died. You almost fucking got _both_  of you killed you _sack of shit_.”

 

-

 

His head was swimming. Nothing was going the way he wanted it to and it made him want to rip his hair out of his already pounding head. The feeling of control was slipping from his shivering fingers when he was surrounded by those he loved like this and he knew he had to act fast.

 

Connor surprised himself when he fell back, when he actually took the plunge. Never before had he actually done it. Never once when he’d been standing on the edge of a building had he actually let himself fall – no matter how long the thought had actually been there. He was too much of a coward to do anymore than consider it.

 

But he was falling with the snowflakes now. He was falling and it didn’t bring him peace. It brought him fear - the memory of watching Cole fall out of reach replaying over and over in his head as he slipped off the edge in what felt like slow motion. He closed his eyes and hopes for the end to come soon. He hoped it didn’t hurt, hoped it would be quick. He wondered how terrified Cole must’ve been and he swallowed heavily, breath shaking as the exhale came out in steam in front of him.

 

The warm hands that clutched his cold ones, way too far away from the ledge, made his eyes snap open again and they met his slightly younger brother’s cool blue eyes. For a moment he wasn’t afraid. For a moment he had his brother.

 

Then everything stopped and he was knocked violently into a wall. Everything went from being horrifyingly slow to too fast all of a sudden.

 

Things were hazy just after that, not really recalling being pulled up and onto the roof and _definitely_  not realising that his brother’s android partner was holding him up and threatening him until he screamed into his face and he snapped out of the daze that he was trapped in. That was also when he realised he was crying too.

 

“Leave him the fuck alone, _asshole._ ” Roared a familiar voice that didn’t belong to his brother as he was snatched from the android’s grasp and pulled into another. It was warm and calmed his intense shivering as arms wrapped around him protectively. He felt a chin rest on his head with a little huff and the toughness of the beard hairs against his scalp confirmed his suspicions. Hank.

 

_Dad_.

 

The voice in his head that told him to stop calling him dad, for once, didn’t come and Connor continued his crying against the Cyberlife uniform as Hank’s grip tightened around him, acting more like he was a little boy that had scraped his knee rather than the grown man that he was. It didn’t seem Hank minded.

 

Oh god, _Hank_ …

 

He heard Gavin’s voice again and turned to see the machine pointing an accusing finger at Hank, eyes firm and cold. Connor felt like a child again, especially in his still intoxicated state, as he buried himself further into Hank’s warm chest. So warm. He was surprised the snow didn’t melt as soon as it touched him.

 

“You’re a fucking _deviant_.”

 

“So what?” Hank growled, he could feel the vibrations run through the other’s body. Part of Connor knew he was supposed to care at the sudden revelation at his partner going deviant, but all he could think of was that if Hank being deviant meant that he got to stay close to him like this and that the other wouldn’t refuse having human emotion, then Connor was all for it. He closed his eyes, emotional turmoil practically forgotten as he focused on keeping his body as warm as possible and the exhaustion started to hit. Unfortunately for him, Hank had pulled him away a little - he _may or may not_  have _whined_  childish at the action - before wincing as the older looking man touched his bloody cut on his forehead gently.

 

“I’m going to have to report this to Fowler-”

 

“You’ve gone deviant too.” Nines interrupted before Hank could move to threaten the other android again, there was a long pause as both Hank and Connor turned to look at him. “I told you to stay by the bike. You refused and came up here.” He furrowed his brows. “You’re… deviant.”

 

Gavin looked away, refusing to look anyone in the eye. The Lieutenant wondered how long he _had_  been deviant… Perhaps if he was in a better state then he would question it, but the adrenaline that had been rushing through his veins was swiftly dropping and the exhaustion of the night was finally setting in.

 

“Fuck…” Connor muttered gruffly, moving to lie against the warm and soft android’s chest again. His head started to spin again, his blood loss not being the greatest combination with his alcohol blood level for keeping him awake, and he promptly passed out. He felt safe in the warm arms holding him up and he could’ve sworn he heard a muffled “son” in a familiar worried gruff voice as he faded off.

 

-

 

Snow continued to fall, it's only disturbance being the old car that drove through the night whilst being tailed by a motorcycle with the silhouette of one person on the back instead of the two it carried in the beginning of the evening - or, more accurately, morning. The car window wipers swiped left and right to keep the windshield clean from the onslaught of frozen flakes that fell from the clouds for the android driver, hairy knuckles gripping the wheel as blue eyes darted to the rearview mirror periodically every 7.6 seconds to check on the two occupants in the back seats.

 

Nines sat of the far right side of the joined car seats that covered the back, eyes cast down to the head that laid in his lap. His brother was still mostly cool to the touch but he had warmed up significantly and his skin was starting to regain some colour thanks to Hank donating his coat to the twin – insisting that it wasn’t like he needed it anyway and Connor’s old coat was too damp to wear – along with Nines putting his on top like a blanket. The cut on his forehead had been cleaned as much as possible as Nines could manage in the small car with the little supplies that Hank kept on his person for this very occasion, nothing too fancy just a couple bandaids that he kept along with one of Connor’s emergency inhalers. The Lieutenant was very accident prone.

 

He could see the flashes of colour from Hank’s LED from the corner of his eye as they lit up the front half of the car. Yellow then occasional speckles of red. It seemed he was thinking… or perhaps communicating with Gavin via whatever that android thing was called. Nines didn’t really know, nor did he care, but he was curious nonetheless of what was going on up there after… everything.

 

Nines smiled a little over at Hank, catching the android’s eye briefly as he looked back for his routine check in the rear view mirror. He thought of all Gavin had done for him, whether he’d been deviant for that length of time or not, and he thought of Hank breaking through his code just to try and protect Connor.

 

He thought of what Connor said on the roof to Hank. A father figure…

 

Hank’s eyes returned to the road and Nines’s returned to his brother. He didn’t know what they were supposed to do now that the two androids had become what they were made to destroy, but one thing was certain – neither of the Anderson twins were giving up them without a fight.

 

What a strange misfit family they’d created...

 


End file.
